plans

one last day (today.) and all this craziness will be over. until march. when the Decisions come rolling in.

the whole thing has been exhausting beyond words, the preparation for the graduate records examination, the cost of said examination, the duration of said examination (5 hours?!), the infinite emails, replies, forwards, meetings, notes, lost notebooks, library materials, drafting hours, flashcards, lugging-about-of-too-may-things miles, abandoned teacups, mold rinds on coffee mugs, sleepless nights, night terrors, black circles under eyes, the lack of bikram yoga classes, the re-writing of whole portions of the applications, the put downs, the following ups, the cropping, the composing, the re-reading. UGH!

but. tomorrow. the end. thank goodness.

i am looking forward to a number of things, maybe:

1. more narcissus bulbs (hyacinth? daffodil?)

2. more bread dough in bowls

3. nurturing my new kefir grains (eep!)

4. taking more photographs

5. chopping lengths off my hair

6. working up a good sweat more often

7. getting on some new telemark skis

8. spending more time with the Men in my life

()

9. trying to sit still with an emptier mind

10. relenting

it is true the highest standards imposed on us are often our own. for me, that is certainly the case. luckily, these things are catalogued all the time, maniacally. 

fingers crossed tomorrow will come, shining, open like a blade and then snap closed swift like.